Personal and need an opinion

[Milly]

Hi Mimi, first of all Im so sorry for all of this thats happening to you. I cant really say that I know how it feels as Im not married and never been. Ill be honest with you tho. Texting to another women that your hubby met in a bar is not a good sign, I think we all can agree on that. I just have a feeling that you`re taking this as it was your fault. If I was you I would be well angry with him simply because this is not acceptable. You`re not in a high-school relationship anymore, this is marriage and both of you are responsible for the relationship to work. Obviously hes not trying enough and that might be just because he is not happy...And do you want to be with someone who`s not happy being in a relationship with you? I hope these words are not too tough on you, dont want to make you upset...Just wanted to express how I feel about it...Anyway good luck hun with solving this out, hope everything ends up well for you! We are here for you anytime!

[lisfyre]

Mimi, my darling girl... if this isn't the first time something like this has happened then you really need to come to some hard decisions. I'm a straight up and direct kind of person and I don't mince words with anyone. I think, you need to do some hard thinking about how you want to live your life and what you need to go forward. I don't think this situation will get better judging from the fact that he's already done this once before. If you have trust issues with him, time to let him go. Get your ducks in order my sweet girl. Make sure you have your own bank account he can't touch. Get your friends to rally around you and decide if you want to go thru this all over again after he's said he's sorry and promises not to do it again. Talk is cheap hun. If you have to throw him out or walk out the door do it. Material things can be replaced.. you can't.

Just to give you some insight, my first husband did basically the same thing. Now, I don't have problems with people having friends male or female but there's a line that can't be crossed and he did it. After I told him that it wasn't going to work if he keeps doing that, I told him I was going to get a divorce. I made sure to set up my own bank account first. He came home drunk and put his hand around my throat and threatened to kill me. I was out of the house the next day and moved in with a friend and never went back. I left everything in the house. My other friends gave me clothes and eventually I got my own apartment and they gave me furniture also. He was younger than me by 5 years and we were together for 15 years. I met my current husband 2 years after that and 6 years later we got married. He is 10 years younger than me and he knows from what I told him about my first marriage that there's no room to screw up because I have no problem walking out the door if he screws up the relationship.

I'm sorry if I was too blunt but sometimes, you just have to say something out loud to get your point across and I think I did that. Whatever happens, good luck. Any decision you come to won't be easy. It'll hurt like crazy, and you'll be crying like crazy. Then you'll be mad and rant and rave about it all then go back to crying again. That's ok... its part of the healing process. Do that as long as you're out of the relationship and moving forward. You don't need him if he's going to disrespect you and break your trust. You deserve so much more than being treated badly. I know it won't feel like it for a long time but trust me - YOU DESERVE BETTER. Just remember - if you're not having fun anymore, stop playing the game. And always, ALWAYS make sure you're Number 1 in the priority list.

[mimisouris]

Hi guys..I have been doing a lot of thinking and a lot of soul searching.. not looking for an other mate but mostly i have been looking at all my options..We have been doing a lot of talking and we have been talking where we were in our lives and what we expect in our relationship. Things are a little better but I really don't know where this will go.. i go a day at a time.. I want to be happy and someone that loves me for what I am..Thanks again for all your advice and no one was blunt.. I love honesty and this is why i posted here.. Thanks again and will let you know where this will bring me.

Hugs

Mimi

[lisfyre]

Do what is best for you sweety. I'll be praying for you.

[themamasplace]

always do what is bestt for you. Many prayers, good thoughts, and good wishes coming your way. Big big hugs, xxx

[Kweenie]

I also wish you the best after reading the whole topic , after learning about this sad issues Mimi.
(I completely agree with Milly though I'm glad the situation turned into a little bit better issue,don't lost the faith till you don't know the truth)
A married man satisfied as he certainly is doesn't act this way.

[lehahia]

In one sens I'm totally agree with what said Milly...
I have perhaps a bad character..(that's what some of you maybe will think after reading my thread..hahaha)..but I will never let my husband treat me on the background!!...If one day he will look over there..so, he just have to stay there!!!..I will never be the second!!...
But sometimes in life there are "up moments "and "down moments" in a couple life..and we don't have to destroy what has sometimes been slow to build, in just a moment of anger!!..think also about this!...and a man always needs to know that he can always please to woman.. even while being married .. and to know that he can still able to seduce .. that's so..it's in their genes!..

Anyway as Lissy suggested so rightly be careful!!..a man can be replaced but material things more difficultly!!!
take care of you hun!!..and just keep your heat right!! you did nothing wrong .. none of this happened because of you!!

[muvistah]

I hope you figure out what to do, sweet Mimi! I can only think that it must be a horrible situation to be in... but you should always do what's best for YOU <3 I'm sending you good thoughts.

[Armando]

This is great sharing.....
I like this thread