Life dealt me a bad hand

[pammi259]

I guess I am feeling really bad for myself right now and I hate that fact! It's because I keep getting boulders put in front of me. I am a 55 year old grandmother of 2 and a mother of 2. Having my babies was the highlight of my life and always will be. I keep trying to tell myself to just focus on how lucky I was to have children when there are so many who cant.
My life started out being from a poor family being the youngest with 3 older brothers.
My life was hell growing up. My brother and my father were both transvestites and would sneak into my room and steal or just wear my clothes and then put them back for me to find them stretched out or torn or smelly. My father hated children so if he was home I was out of sight and sound. I was also molested as a young child by an uncle.
No one saved me. My mother tried but did not know how. Both fathers of my children cheated on me and were alcoholics so I would not allow them back. Bringing up my children alone was difficult but we got by and always had the necessities. In 18 years we had one family vacation. A few years ago I was about to open a business and found a family member had emptied out my bank account. I was totally broke. I sold my house the purchased a house in northern New Hampshire. (another mistake). What monies I had left I had to pay for a car I co-signed for my daughter. My daughter did well paying me back for a little over a year but since had lost her job and unable to find work. After living there for 2 years I put the house up for sale and it has been for sale since. I have had to lower the price to half of what I paid for it 4 years ago and its still sitting here. I have not been able to pay the extremely high taxes and am about to lose the house for taxes. There is absolutely no work up there.
I purchased the house with the sellers disclosure stating the house not to be in a flood zone and I have since found it most certainly is in a flood zone. I have taken it to court but the court makes things so hard to understand. As far as Im concerned I have all the proof in black in white, that should be all there is to it. I could not obtain a lawyer and the waiting list for a free lawyer is miles long.
A few days ago the water in the basement was 3 feet deep and the oil burner and electric panels are down there. The pump is working but just cant pump it fast enough.
It keeps filling up.. I am at wits end. I have spent the past 4 years in fear of losing the oil burner and now with cold weather if the heaters not working the water pipes will freeze. I just want to get away from it all. I need another miracle or something to give me some hope. I feel like I am spiraling down into a big hole and no way out.
I know I need to see a doctor but thats another issue.
I have called all sorts of places for help with the cellar..but my luck I cant find any.
If I do sell it before its taken from me I wont even have any money left to buy another house. Dang taxes!!!!!!!! Oh and no one is going to give me a loan with no job.
Any ideas what I should do??????

[Beddog]

I would ask my relatives for a loan for a decent lawyer and a trip to the doctor. There must be somebody who is willing to lend or give you the money.

[Lama]

I don't know, where you get your money for daily life. But if you have some money to live, I would give up the house.
I think, you have no more responsibilities towards your children anymore, since they are grown-ups.
You are free, when you release yourself from your obligations, i.e. house.
If you are able to work and healthy issues are not in the way, search the internet or magazines for community projects.
They always need volunteers, helpers, people, who want to join their projects.
You would get food and shelter, and perhaps some pocket money in return.
Not much, I know, but it seems, you need a brandnew start in your life, a new perspective.
When a door is closed for you, many more are/ will open. Just don't give up, even if things are getting worse.

[tantemir]

Well, I don't know how it is where you live, but the housing market collapsed so selling the house won't be easy. Especially since it is flooded... I'm so sorry you had to deal with all this in your life Pam, life is so unfair... Right now my parents are involved in a law suit over a house (or actually the land the house is supposed to be built on), it has already taken a year and a half and the end still isn't in sight :( I agree with Susi that you should try to borrow money from friends or family, and you should never delay going to the doctor! I know I'm not really a help, all I can say is you are in my thoughts...

[pammi259]

After reading Lama's reply I have to post my horoscope for yesterday
" Evaluate your assets and liabilities. It's time to deal with the future. Get rid of what you don't need and reclaim your life. Taking action is the only way to solve problems and ease stress. Focus on home finances and new beginnings. "

If I had a mortgage on the house it would be easy to walk away, but unfortunately I own it. The past few years I have had a tough time, my son having a collapsed lung 5 times, twice operated on, my 4 month old granddaughter passing away and myself having had bladder cancer. I recently had 2 accidents, one falling down the stairs and injuring my spine and the other I stepped on my foot while it was asleep and screwed up tendons really bad.. besides my torn rotor cuff and being blind in one eye.

I do do community work. I help out in the soup kitchen and help to transport people to the food pantry.
I do not have internet service or television.. we rent movies from the library for entertainment for free. I had to tell you that as it always bugs me when people complain about money but still have internet..dont make sense to me. For a telephone we have a $30.00 a month cell phone.

My daughter may be helping out more soon as she just got a full time babysitting job. (she lives with me and her two babies)

I was feeling totally hopeless yesterday.. but today is a better day.
thank you all!